April 11, 2008

• my letter

  Dear Tater40,
  I will get to the reason for that nickname later. But let me tell you about the next thirty years. You’re in college now. This coming November will be a big time in your life. Your deadbeat dad will try to come back into your brothers’ lives, but will be very rude about you. Understand that it is because you are the youngest of the four of you and he doesn’t know you. You were one when they were divorced. You do the right thing though, you choose to focus on Dad. This is a time he needs it. There’s a heart bypass operation coming up for him. At the end of November, your biological father passes, and you are right to get indignant with Diane across the hall when she presumes that you are cold-hearted because you’re more worried about Dad.
  You will have to quit college, but you’ll get into nursing school next year. Don’t worry. Now, I’m going to tell you, you will work two jobs over the summer. You will work weekends at the KOA and afternoons at Waltz’s. The gang at Waltz’s is great and spend as much time as you can with David. He is a great friend and enjoy the Doobie Brothers at Blossom with him. It is only friends, but he introduces you to the ‘first’ boyfriend. He turns out to be a casual fling and leaves for Texas. David consoles you and for the next two years, is one of your best friends. If I could change anything, it would be to remain in touch with David.
  Pay special attention to Cordelia, too. That black lump she shows you on her chest wall is not good, as you suspect. She is a priceless friend to your mother and to you.
  Carol talks to you about her brother-in-law, but don’t pay any attention. It all works out.
  Don’t be surprised in the early ’80′s when you suspect your new brother-in-law is some kind of degenerate. It turns out that he is. Protect those nieces. I know you will, because you did. Who cares if your sister doesn’t talk to you?
  On a side note, the night before you go to the fair with the girls, look at their hair. Don’t freak out. It’s only lice and although you’ll feel creepy, you can get through it. Don’t wait ’til morning, like I did.
  Tim is married when you meet him. But he is worth knowing and is soon divorced. Just remember he’s not for you. Don’t think you’ll get him to settle down. Ain’t gonna happen. But you can still have fun.
  I don’t think I should go into the Tom saga. He’s just a black sheep. He will tell you this, too. Don’t think you’ll settle him down either.
  The reason I’m not sorry for this interlude is the result- Roger. Although you may think you’ll never have children, rest assured you have one. Just let me tell you, when he has that first little temper tantrum at age three, look at the skin behind his ears and realize it is allergies. This might save him a year and a half of hell. Oh, and it will help you, too. And beware, he gets very weird afflictions: scarlet fever, really bad chicken pox, an infected uvula, just to name a few.
  Now, DO remember every little detail of your date with Mike. He’s the one and you know it right away. He calls you tater because you like potato chips.
  You might want to listen to Granny a little better about your finances. She is very savvy about money. Also, go visit her often and talk to her frankly about dementia.
  In the early 90’s, you advise Mom and Dad to move out west for his health. I hope to keep him out of the hospital by telling you to tell them to bypass Artesia. They should go straight to Roswell. Mom knows you have “feelings” about places and people at times and are usually right.
  Now, those darn cramps that make you sick every month will end in 1995 with a hysterectomy. You will impress the doc with “fibroids- too many to count” on the pathology report. You get to keep your ovaries for another 14 years.
  You will begin smoking in nursing school of all places, and you quit in 1993. And that weight problem? Just gets worse. You will almost die. Depression sets in. But you will lose a lot of weight by going under the knife again. You will feel reborn.
  Don’t let that church get under your skin. One person, Kay, is not what she professes to be. And others may have hidden agendas that aren’t very Christian. Just go with what you know.
  These are some of the highlights of the past thirty years. Basically , just be you and you will be fine. Sure you’ll make bad decisions but look at them as providence. Without them to form your life, you wouldn’t be me.

  • 11:48 pm
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